The Parable of the Foolish Weightlifter

¹The teacher said, “Hear now the parable of the foolish weightlifter. ²A certain man wished to become stronger and to run and not grow weary. So he went to the gymnasium, paying the gymnasium-master three obols.^{a 3}The man began lifting bars with weights upon them, first one talent,^b then two. But he was not able to lift three talents. ⁴So the man said to himself, “Soul, your arms are very sore. You are not able to lift so many talents.” ⁵So after going home, the man sewed bags out of linen cloth, filled them with feathers of doves,^c and painted them so that they appeared as weights of burnished bronze. ⁶Then the man returned to the gymnasium, paid the gymnasium-master three obols, and began lifting the bars with false weights upon them. ⁷And behold, the man was able to lift bars with five and even six false talents upon them. ⁸And the attendant^d saw the man lifting six false talents (now the attendant did not know that they were false talents, but the man lifting the talents did) ⁹and he approached the gymnasium-master, saying, “Behold! The man who was not able to lift three talents now is able to lift six talents.” ¹⁰And the gymnasium-master and the attendant and those who hurled the discus and those who wrestled all marveled, saying “Never have we seen a man improve so quickly!” ¹¹So the man lifted false talents daily. But he never became stronger or became able to run and not grow weary.”

¹²When the teacher was alone, his students came to him asking him about the parable. ¹³And the teacher answered, saying “Do you not understand this parable? And how will you pass your midterm exam? How will you write your final exegetical paper? ¹⁴The man lifting weights is the seminary student. The gymnasium-master is the registrar, who will not admit anyone to class until they have paid. ¹⁵The three obols is the tuition. The weights are the work the student does to learn to read, parse, and exegete Hebrew^e and Greek. ¹⁶But when the student grows weary, he begins using false talents. The false talents are those things that the teacher does not permit: copying parsing from Bible software,^f copying a translation from Bible Gateway, and not attempting to translate by the student’s own knowledge. ¹⁷The attendant and those who throw the discus and those who wrestle are those who are deceived, thinking that the student has actually learned Greek and Hebrew, and they marvel. ¹⁸But the student, because he is lifting false talents, never learns Greek and Hebrew in truth. ¹⁹He is not able to interpret the mysteries of the Scriptures as well as he could have.”

^“20Now hear this wisdom from the parable: what shall it profit a student if he takes Greek and Hebrew, but does not study and learn Greek and Hebrew in truth? ²¹Truly I say to you, it would be better for that man if he took his three obols and threw them in a pit.”