I am loud. Being labeled a “loud woman” was my worst nightmare, the term conjures an image of an obnoxious woman with big hair, an annoying tone and unpopular opinion – you know, the kind that asks for the manager at Starbucks or the one you want to avoid sitting next to at a wedding party.
When a woman is loud, there are often two implications that come with it that either a) you don’t care what people think about you or b) that you don’t care about the people around you, both ideas implying that you have no issue making the people near you uncomfortable. In other words, a woman who is loud is often associated with lacking empathy or social skills.
I grew up with quiet women as my role models and I was constantly told to be more like them.
Be more like...
Kwa Geok Jew—the wife of Singapore’s founding father. She was intelligent beyond her years but chose to lead from the background, allowing her husband to be the sole face of Singapore’s intellect.
Be more like her.
Be more like…
Aung San Suu Kyi—Myanmar’s State Counsellor. She led silently through secret letters sent out to take down the country’s corrupt military governors during her 15-year house arrest.
Be more like her.
The truth is that while these are incredible examples of leadership, the image of a woman leader should not be limited to just that.
The reality of being told that you are loud as a woman is that it is a signal for you to “Please stop doing whatever you are doing.” Working under that worldview, it would be reasonable to say that both Kaw Geok Jew and Aung San Suu Kyi are “loud women” as well.
Ladies of GRIT, I would like to encourage you by bringing to the light that you are not “loud”—rude, opinionated, not knowing of your place but you are “loud”—intelligent, world-changing, charismatic.
The image of a loud woman has changed in my mind and I hope it does you in yours as well.
Be more like…
Michelle Obama—Lawyer, author and founder of four movements empowering families, veterans, education, and young girls. While showing respect to her husband, she also possesses an identity apart from him. In her autobiography “Becoming” Obama writes, “I am louder than the average human being and I have no fear of speaking my mind. These traits don’t come from the color of my skin, but from an unwavering belief in my own intelligence.”
Be more like her.
Be more like…
Emma Watson—Actress, writer, and UN Goodwill Ambassador. Despite struggling to find her place at the UN and suffering from the confidence gap, Watson has shown no hesitation to stand up for women. In her 2014 UN speech, Watson said, “Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong… It is time that we all perceive gender on a spectrum, not as two opposing sets of ideals.”
Be more like her.
Be more like…
The girl reading this post—She has ideas that can change the world. She has wisdom and intelligence that people need to hear. She has love, empathy, kindness, and GRIT. She is a change-maker, a leader, a beloved daughter of God who has so much in store for her.
Be more like her.