Biola University
New Year, New Me
A cliche we hear at the start of every new year. Have you ever been proactive about your new self? I know in the past I haven’t. It’s a phrase I tell myself, but it ends up being just another year that went by where I didn’t gain a healthy habit or get rid of the bad ones. This year I hope it can be different for all of us! In this post I will be going over self-love and self-care in this new year and what that can look like for each individual.
Love Languages are the ways one might give and receive love. You may have been asked what your love language is before, but for those of you who don’t know much about them, here's a brief overview:
Words of Affirmation: Active listening, words of encouragement, empathizing.
Physical Touch: Hugs, kisses on the cheek, holding hands.
Receiving/Giving Gifts: Thoughtfulness, unexpected
Quality Time: One on One conversations, uninterrupted outings
Acts of Service: Receiving help on little things.
Now that you know the basics about love languages let’s talk about ways that you can express some love to yourself based on them.
Words of Affirmation - This could look like seeking compliments or a simple “I’m proud of you.” A great way to practice this love language for yourself can be through the act of writing words of encouragement on your mirror with a whiteboard marker or writing post-it notes for yourself to have in places you most often look.
If you’re a friend who wants to express this to another friend: Tell someone you’re proud of them, maybe tell them their hard work can be seen, or even tell them they looked nice today!
Physical Touch - This could look like wanting a hug every once in a while from a friend is sometimes just what you need This could also look like a kiss from a significant other. A way I personally express this love language to myself is by putting my makeup on in the morning. It allows me to feel like I did something for myself that morning that I enjoy. Another way you can do this is by using a weighted blanket at night for pressure!
If you’re a friend who wants to express this to another friend: Keep in mind that not everyone likes physical touch, the best practice can be to ask a friend if you can give them a hug today and if physical touch isn’t their favorite then just a simple high five is always the best.
Receiving/Giving Gifts - If you are looking to receive gifts buying yourself something can be nice every once in a while. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive, it can be a coffee or bagel from commons or some tots from Eagles Nest.
If you’re a friend who wants to express this to another friend: On your next grocery run buy a friend their favorite snack or drink. Maybe even buy them a coffee next time you guys go out. It can be bought or even bringing someone a cookie from the Caf can be appreciated.
Quality Time - Quality time can look different to many people, it can be being in the same room as someone or having alone time. Spending some quality time with yourself can look like doing homework outside or what my friends and I call floor time. It’s where you lay on the floor and watch something, don’t knock it till you try it ;)
If you’re a friend who wants to express this to another friend: Try scheduling a one on one with a friend, you can find so much fulfillment in just catching up with someone. Scheduling a spot of uninterrupted time can be nice to know that you made space to be with someone.
Acts of Service - Acts of service to yourself can yes be chores like washing dishes or making your bed in the morning. A fun one can be to organize your desk, decorate your planner or clean out your backpack/purse.
If you’re a friend who wants to express this to another friend: Instead of asking a friend “Do you need my help?” Try saying “Can I help you?” or “I can help you by…”. Even if just help them put their stuff in their bag or carry something for them to their dorm.
Overall I hope these tips and tricks help you in learning to express love for yourself and love to those around you. Remember that not everyone has the same love language so be sure to ask your friends what their love language is.
See you soon!
Kaile<3
