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Overview: Raising Healthy, Resilient Students

As parents and families of young adults are forging their way into new territory, Love and Logic’s Erin Sherard uses the analogy of baking to illustrate important principles necessary in raising healthy, resilient students. Following the video, Erin’s blog post inspires families to provide space for students to gain grit and perseverance by learning from the natural consequences of their actions as laid out in James 1:1–18.

Grit and Perseverance from a Biblical Perspective

by Erin Sherard

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” - James 1:12

What are the first words that come to mind when you hear the term GenZ? Entitled, soft, lacking motivation? Let’s look at James 1:1-18 from a parent perspective to gain some ideas on how to promote grit and perseverance.

James 1:1-4. It is in our nature to rescue and protect our students from discomfort. Allowing them to stumble or experience the true consequences of their actions seems unfathomable. We play the “what if” game, concocting all of the long-term consequences if we do not jump in. We hover and rescue because we do not want to feel pain and what we might not realize is that our actions are selfish. We are stealing very significant learning opportunities, thus putting up major roadblocks on their path to maturity.

James 1:5-8. Rescuing in the midst of struggle satiates the desire for instant gratification for both parties. When we rescue we send a damaging message, “you are not strong or smart enough to learn from your choices.” So how can we change our behavior? Ask believing that God will be there in the valley and trust in His purpose for the struggle. Showing empathy and acting as a consultant will send this powerful message, “I believe in you. I trust that you are smart enough to learn from this and I trust in God’s plan for your life.”

James 1: 9-11. The message here is pretty straight forward, throw concern for your image out the window. Be okay with the fact that your student might not appear unblemished and that you might not look like a perfectly polished family. A Love & Logic family wants their student to make mistakes as early in life as possible, because allowing them to learn from the natural or logical consequences is how they learn to make better choices later in life. Guiding them with empathy will increase the odds that their hearts and minds will stay open to learning.

James 1:12-18. These verses speak to the importance of modeling trust in the Lord when earthly temptations are stronger than ever before. By modeling gratitude and fruitfulness bore through resisting temptation, my actions speak louder than my voice ever will. We live in a world crippled by instant gratification. It is not a bad thing to allow them to see you struggle as they witness the practice of self-control and the power of prayer.

When encouraging a student who persevered without rescue, get THEM to say HOW they were able to be resilient by stating one of these:

  1. I worked hard.
  2. I kept trying.
  3. I didn’t give up.

What we say to our students is our reality. What they say will become their reality. Getting them to say one of these phrases after persevering without being rescued will kick start intrinsic motivation.